Army Adverts – What They Don’t Tell You

David Buck of Veterans For Peace features in this short film about Army Recruitment.


  1. Sáss Alæssí says:

    I was 13 when I received my ‘Guaranteed Vacancy’ from HM Forces to join Junior Leaders RCT @ Colerne, Wilts. 3yrs later I was 16, in 1980 I left school on a Thursday and the following Tuesday I was on a train to Bath. I was in my local paper being celebrated as the youngest ever Guaranteed Vacancy into the British Army. During my training I kept on receiving plaudits from our troop commander and the CO of the entire camp because I was, quote “a total grade A+ student” end quote. I loved it, i really did. I had found my calling. Passing out parade – I was made Stick Man, which, if you don’t know means I’m the one who escorts the invited General & company around the parade. It was quite the honour I believe. I felt like a wart though ‘cos I had to wear a different uniform to everyone else. They were all in No.2 dress, I was in my No.1 dress. Everyone should’ve been in No.1, it’s a dead smart uniform. No.2’s are dull and crap. They really need to update those, get a clothes designer in to design a new No.2 dress. A bit like the Nazi’s getting Hugo Boss in to design the SS uniform, the SA uniform, then Hitler paid him to design all uniforms. Next time you by BOSS aftershave, just stop and think about it. Anyway, 1981, after about 3mths of hanging around at Colerne in private quarters. I asked the CO why I hadn’t been posted yet. He said because he’s waiting for a particular posting to come up for me. Usually Junior Leaders get posted in large groups to regiments so they can grow and become NCO’s and influence the other guys in the regiment, my CO wanted me to go straight into a regular unit, a Squadron that has been especially set up in Osnabruck Garrison as an independent unit not answering to RCT higher ups but being independent and self-sufficient, going there by myself, knowing nobody whatsoever. This didn’t bother me. What did bother me was the night-time bullying shit, the kangaroo courts that went on almost every single night. The shit that I saw and heard man!!! I was out on a 5 day detail, when I returned to camp after 5 days away, I went up to my (6 man) billet, couldn’t wait to shower. opened my underwear draw and there laying on top of my underwear was 300Deurschmark & a gold necklace. I picked them up, turned around and asked the other 5 guys in my room if they knew who these belonged to? Almost on cue the door flew open, with all the knobheads shouting “Room search, there’s been some money and jewellery stolen” and there I was standing there with the money and the jewellery in my hand. I said “How much and what jewellery?” all i heard was “300DM & a gold chain”, then one of them said “look he’s got it in his hand the thieving cunt” all hell broke loose, punches and kicks were thrown for what seemed like forever. I couldn’t help but think, these guys are supposed to be bonded in brotherhood, if we go to war, we are supposed to be on the same side. I couldn’t believe what was happening. I’ve never stolen anything in my entire life. I received 7 days in nick for stealing money and a chain & goes on my record. All along I kept saying I knew nothing about it, they were planted for some reason. Nobody ever came forward to me to say “It was me watch yer back” or something like that. The shitheads in my room all said they knew nothing about it whatsoever, I despise lies and people who are suppose to be your friend. I still don’t get the point of why they did it, I’d only been there about 3 or 4 months, still didn’t know anyone really. Anyway, from that moment on, I was now one of the kangaroo court’s targets, so at 5 when we knocked off I would get showered and leave camp to go into Osnabruck deliberately going into bars where squaddies are banned. I made some great friends and had several German G/F’s. These 2 facts made the bullies even angrier at me. I’d studied Krav Maga & Aikido since I was 7yrs but knew if I hurt any of them it would make it worse for me, so i just took it. I think they were very surprised at what I could take without flinching. So that gradually stopped. Until 1 night they had a guy in the bath room’s. This guy, a lovely guy, very quiet and loved books, dead intelligent. Only problem, he had insanely bad skin and had the worst acne issues. Well, you know what I’m gonna say? The bullies all went steaming into his room and got hold of him, he was crying and screaming because he knew what was coming. They had prepared a regimental bath for him. If you don’t what this is, it’s a bath full of piss, shit, oil, diesel, benzine, bleach and any other liquids they could find. The bullies in their overwhelming levels of intelligence had decided that because he had such bad skin, he was a minger!!! Those fuckin’ utter bastards and morons. They threw him into the bath. You just know that his skin must’ve been on fire as soon as it touched the mixture. Poor fuckin bloke!!! Anyhoo, a regimental bath means, he gets thrown in, each soldier of the unit has to hit him with the handle of a bass broom, then scrub him with the unbelievably hard bristle end. By now he was pouring with blood. A couple of lower down the ladder bullies said they think he’s had enough, they both received a smack in the mouth and told to shut it. I was standing right at the back of the bath room when suddenly the über-bully noticed me, pointed me out, his wankers grabbed me pushed me to the front, stuck a bass broom in my hand and told me to do it. Well, remember I said I had done Aikido since I was 7yrs old and he had thrown an item with a very long handle. I thought to myself there isn’t anything in our Universe that would make me harm this man. I quietly asked him is he was ok, he was crying and said “no”, I whispered to him, I’m gonna go nuts any second, you jump out and run man. So, mister boss bully standing right where I would want him, went down in a flash, and I went doolally striking out, kicks, elbows etc. After a few short minutes, he had run like I said but because I’d hidden what I was able to do the bullies stood well back, they didn’t wanna get hurt, no way, didn’t matter, i went on a hunt for about an hour. Then got bored so went for shower, then went to check on my friend who’d been seriously hurt. He was just bleeding, it wouldn’t stop. I called the ambulance and went with him. He was hospitalised in Münster Military Hospital, where he stayed for about 2 wks, when he was ready to be released, he looked great and happy because he was being re-posted back to the UK, for intensive treatment on his skin. I did see him about 2yrs after and he just looked like a different person, and had I not heard his distinctive voice first I wouldn’t of known it was him hahaha.

    One day I went to give my motorcycle a good run because it had been standing still for about 6mths. I opened the Motorcycle garage door and boom!!! Those dirty bastards had ripped all the electrics apart, I had a full racing front on it with twin beamers, they had smashed this to pieces, the fuel tank, I could tell had been opened was full of petrol & treacle, or syrup, or something similar. I could go on. I was really fuckin angry now, I went steaming up to the admin block and threw the CO’s door open, the squadron sergeant major came running in, I was screaming at my CO, “I want out of this squadron, NOW, i know you can do it, I’m certainly not stupid, you know that.” he said no. So I shouted “OK, don’t transfer me, kick me out, I cannot be in the same building as those desperate little bastards upstairs”, again he said no, stating I’m too valuable to the squadron, “Horseshit! you’re keeping me here knowing what’s going on up stairs every evening”, I told him “Why don’t you, one evening, or even a few evenings, without telling anyone, sleep upstairs and watch & listen what goes on” he said no. I couldn’t win, so I gave him an ultimatum, I said “Then throw me out, dishonourably, I don’t care. Those fuckers upstairs are doing each night, more than anything I could think of, it’s they who should be kicked out” yet again he said no. So, I said very clearly to him “Ok I’ll get myself thrown out”, he said, quote “you will never beat the system” end quote. I replied, quote “Just fuckin watch me!” That same night, I crept into one of the Bullies billet spaces and took his car keys. I pulled up at the guard house and wrote my name in larger than usual letters with blokes car reg so in the morning, I won’t be there, car won’t be there, check the book and boom! Anyhoo, I made it look like I stole his car, in reality, i turned left out of the barracks, went down the hill, turned around, drove back up the hill, parked about 200 metres from the front gate and put my head down for a few hours. Woke around 10am, got out of the car, walked up to the barracks, there was a huge commotion, I said “You looking for me?” haha…of course they were. I pointed to where the car was, gave him the keys, went and for it. That night I was placed on guard duty for my protection, what a crock! I had approx a dozen fights at the front gates of that barracks, with wankers coming down to take a pot at me. I just kept my head and hurt them so they would go away, that’s the principle of Krav Maga, to hurt and debilitate as quickly as possible with the least amount of effort. So lucky I knew what to do that’s all I know. The only person I didn’t hurt was the guys who’s car it was, I let him have a really angry session on me, I allowed him to punch me, made him feel better I guess, there was no way I was gonna hurt him, I used him and his car. Eventually he grew tired I knew he would. After him there were 3 more, and that was that! So, next morning, I report to the CO’s office, and presented with dishonourable discharge papers, I just looked straight into his soul and smirked, although, i didn’t want to leave the army, I loved the army, i really did. When we were training, when I was on details, when we helped the German secret service move a shitload of stuff into the massive underground complex inside the Black Forest which had been completely sealed off from the public, as a soldier I excelled in everything I set my hand to, but I just couldn’t take the bullshit after 5pm when all senior NCO’s and Officers leave and fo to their homes etc;etc; That entire squadron needed to audited and checked, the CO was a completely useless tosser. He dead short, fat and had the authority of a pigeon. That was, I believe, one of the overriding issues within those barracks, they needed a tough CO. We were independent of every unit, our job in times of crisis was to go grab as much ammo as poss, then send it to which ever unit needed it, and it was delivered using helicopter net drops, It was ultra dangerous work, but incredibly good fun. I miss being a soldier, when I signed that dotted line, the fella asked me how long do I wish to serve and there I was, 13yr old boy, after reading all I’d read about army life etc, i told him a minimum of 15 but would love to extend that to 24 when we get to that time to choose, but those bastards ruined it for me, I had it all planned, yet for some reason, they stitched me up again and again. Altogether, I did about 2 and a half mths in various jails around Osnabruck. We didn’t have a nick, so we had to take a bed wherever there was one. But again, i loved being in jail cos i felt like a soldier again. I tried everything to get it sorted but had zero help from anyone at all, which is wrong. I was 17 when I was posted to Germany, because I was under 18, they have a duty of care toward me, at 18 I would sign off and release them from that duty which just didn’t exist anyway. I was, and proud of it, an outstanding soldier. On exercises when we are given map co-ord’s to go to pick up then new ones to drop off. I was gone cos I knew maps and every exercise doing this I was highest and always came top. It was nothing special, I just read a lot and study, perhaps that’s why they did that shit to me, but doesn’t explain why they did it to the others. If you’ve read down to this point, thanks for your time and if you do have PTSD, you are more than welcome to offload onto me. I have a Ph.D in Psychology through The Open University, I also am Bipolar Hyperactive and some other stuff, so if you need someone who knows, then by all means write to me and I’ll give you my time and try to offer you some advice & help. Keep safe amigos.

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  3. Alponse says:

    I joined the armed forces in 1979 , seen a lot and suffer from agression still!! i,m 50 now and it ruined my life!

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